Sunday, February 22, 2009

About Forgiveness

This came to my email box from and I wanted to share it with you. It's not written specifically to caregivers but I thought it was excellent for those of us who are.

Sometimes we end up being caregivers for someone we have old issues with, and that is very hard. If you're a child caring for a parent, what do you do if there are problem areas in your past relationship that remain? If the person you are caring for has enough disability, say from Alzheimers or dementia, you may never be able to resolve the problems because the person you care for isn't able to relate any more.

It's tough enough to be a caregiver. You don't need to wrestle with guilt or anger at old areas of pain or hurt.

I find that writing how I feel when I am angry or hurt really helps me focus on the issue and deal with the pain or frustration. My writing won't solve the problem, but somehow it helps me put it into perspective and move on.

Life is complicated enough, especially if you are a caregiver. If you are carrying hurt or pain, I hope this will help you.

Caregiver at Home

The Positive Cycle of Forgiveness

Okay, be honest. Do you hold grudges? Do you allow old drama to determine your behavior? Is there someone you just can't seem to forgive? Grudges and a non-forgiving attitude do nothing but harm both parties. You might feel like you're "winning" by not letting someone off the hook, but you're only increasing your own worry and stress. Bitterness can lead to hate, which can sour a life. Today, write a letter explaining your point of view to the person you feel resentful towards. Clear the air; forgiving him. Even if you don't send it, it is an excellent way to relieve tension. Forgiving someone does not absolve them of the wrong that you experienced. It can simply free you to live a life that isn't anchored to the hurt and resentment of past events.
~ from, Healthy Reflections

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